A little bit about me
Growing up in the Chinese Army
I was born in 1947 Russia. In a slave labor camp south of Hornspree. My Mother was a stewardess with the Red Bird Airlines and my Father was a Chinese Army Spy. They called me 'Lil Jimps'. Translated it meant, stupid orphan in Cantonese. That was my spy baby name. Later I would change it to Mick McMickey.
Those first few years were spent booking dog races and shining shoes. When your a baby it's easy to shine shoes. Your already at shoe level. As I reached the single digits I spent more time doing the things I loved. Unloading flour, and flying single engine taildraggers as a Red Baron for the Chinese Army.
In 1955 I worked the airfield in Banking as a plane director. It was a 24 hour a day job and I was good at it. I worked there for 28 years.
Lil Jimps directing planes at 13
After a long sleep, I moved on to wood chipping in 1979. First I worked with green woods and then brown. After 12 years of brown apprentership I did the unthinkable, I left my wood for a woman. Her name was Hiplearna, she was a Chinese milk nurse.
I first met Hiplearna at a Snow Shovel sales meeting in Vermont. She was a wide woman. Her hips were as wide as a Snow Shovel is long. Steely eyes, blonde hair, and a mole on her forehead. I was in love.
We married in 1962 in Blocksteed Holland. Bought a house just outside the city and had sextuplets, Glendora, Blainshaw, Hopsling, Goanthelp, Bruce and Boydshin. We loved them one and all. But mostly Boydshin.
After the kids left home at 12, we traveled the seven seas. She as a fish sailor and me as the ships cook. I fed her well. She ate like a whale until her untimely death in 1933. I found myself alone and unprepared for what lie ahead. Dust Mitt Sales.
Today I still sell Dust Mitts. I even sold one to the President of the United States of America in the year 2002. He paid top dollar. I took no prisoners.
Who knows what lies ahead? But one thing I do know. If the Chinese Army ever needs someone to spy on a Dust Mitt factory. They have their man. Mick McMickey, Chinese Baby Spy.
Sing high fat choy! Sing high!
I was born in 1947 Russia. In a slave labor camp south of Hornspree. My Mother was a stewardess with the Red Bird Airlines and my Father was a Chinese Army Spy. They called me 'Lil Jimps'. Translated it meant, stupid orphan in Cantonese. That was my spy baby name. Later I would change it to Mick McMickey.
Those first few years were spent booking dog races and shining shoes. When your a baby it's easy to shine shoes. Your already at shoe level. As I reached the single digits I spent more time doing the things I loved. Unloading flour, and flying single engine taildraggers as a Red Baron for the Chinese Army.
In 1955 I worked the airfield in Banking as a plane director. It was a 24 hour a day job and I was good at it. I worked there for 28 years.
Lil Jimps directing planes at 13
After a long sleep, I moved on to wood chipping in 1979. First I worked with green woods and then brown. After 12 years of brown apprentership I did the unthinkable, I left my wood for a woman. Her name was Hiplearna, she was a Chinese milk nurse.
I first met Hiplearna at a Snow Shovel sales meeting in Vermont. She was a wide woman. Her hips were as wide as a Snow Shovel is long. Steely eyes, blonde hair, and a mole on her forehead. I was in love.
We married in 1962 in Blocksteed Holland. Bought a house just outside the city and had sextuplets, Glendora, Blainshaw, Hopsling, Goanthelp, Bruce and Boydshin. We loved them one and all. But mostly Boydshin.
After the kids left home at 12, we traveled the seven seas. She as a fish sailor and me as the ships cook. I fed her well. She ate like a whale until her untimely death in 1933. I found myself alone and unprepared for what lie ahead. Dust Mitt Sales.
Today I still sell Dust Mitts. I even sold one to the President of the United States of America in the year 2002. He paid top dollar. I took no prisoners.
Who knows what lies ahead? But one thing I do know. If the Chinese Army ever needs someone to spy on a Dust Mitt factory. They have their man. Mick McMickey, Chinese Baby Spy.
Sing high fat choy! Sing high!
posted by Some Guy at 1/09/2005 03:16:00 PM
7 Comments:
Since your marriage (in '62) and your wife's untimely death in 1933, I predict you will die in the Battle of the Somme, WW1 in 1917.
I'm sorry,
-S
PS: I still love Goanthelp
i was at that snow shovel sales meeting in Vermont, it was fucking brutal, those bastards
Thank you for your interest in Boydshin. After graduating from Punbob Academy in 1848, he moved to Greenland where he met his soul mate Kertzwerna. She was a native Greenlander. Unfortunately she died from chronic knee pain in 1978. She was only 14 years old.
After her death Boydshin remarried and moved to Herbcontell France. Where he ran a girls pants business for 4 years under the name Boydshane. When his second wife Fankind died of natural causes at the age of 12, he moved back to China to become a Chinese Red Baron like his father.
Today Boyd runs a pole bending factory for the Russian Army in Hartford. He is 19 years old.
You can reach him by sending a letter to; Boydshin c/o Boydsheeth, 1200 Norcanstrain View Lane, Jockmonta, India 94117.
He should be there until next summer. After that please send your letter to;
Boydshin c/o Boydsheeth, 1200 Norcanstrain View Lane, Jockmonta, Arizona, 85002
Sing High!
I hate to tell you but Jockmonta, India was wiped out by that tsunami last week. It doesnt look good for your pal Boydshin, unless he was hanging out on one of the higher floors of those fancy hotels that only got their swimming pools and patio furniture all fucked up
Today, Boydshin is a 'Grand Master' of the higher floors of those fancy hotels that only got their swimming pools and patio furniture all fucked up.
Boydshin wont look back. Boydshin will surive. He will survive and drive foward. To lands far from Jockmonta. To lands that you and I can only dream of. To the lands of lands.
I talked to Boydshin. He gave me good spin. He said it with a grin. As long as it's not a sin. Boydshin is in.
Burnt pork leavings on my limb.
Sing High!
-Jimps
Boydshin emerged from his hotel bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his newest Asian-concubine complained, "I have a headache."
"Perfect," Boydshin told her, "I was just in the bathroom powdering my dick with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository, it's up to you!"
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