How bout those Sonics? I mean Lakers? I mean Celtics?

It's been 8 years but who's counting

Go Gary!

Gary Payton 2004

I just love Gary Payton! When I lived in Seattle I had season tickets, (20 game you pick it) not because I liked basketball, but because I liked Gary. He is one part basketball player and five parts entertainer. He is so much fun to watch.

In 1996 at the finals against the famed Chicago Bulls, I was there. Section 203, row 9, seat 7. I heard him dog the champ Michael Jordan all the way up in the balcony. It was just wonderful. "Give me da ball Michael, come on. Throw me da ball big fella". I laughed my head off. "Who's that big fella? Is that your Momma over there? She's winking at me big biggie. Now throw me da ball". Oh Gary will dog ya. Then he'll steal the ball 231 times. That's right. 231 times in 1996. How bout that? Oh he'll dog ya alright.

So far, as of today, Gary has 4,731 rebounds and 8,192 career assists and a total of 20,256 points!

After the Sonics won game five of the 1996 finals to bring game six back to Chicago, me and my girl went to the 13 Coins restaurant in Seattle to celebrate. What other teem during that time could win that many games against the Bulls? That's right, none! Anyway, right in the middle of my Steak Sinatra, in walks Dell Harris (he was a commentator for NBC that night). Then Sam Perkins. After Sammy was the great number two man of the Dynamic Duo Shawn Kemp. Then, right behind Shawn was #1. The big guy himself, Gary (the glove) Payton! Oh my fucking god! They were all here. Right after the big win they ALL came to dinner at the Coin. We had no idea.

What am I going to do? I've got the ticket stub in my pocket. Wouldn't it be great if Gary signed it? Oh god what am I going to do? Liz and I were sitting at the counter far away from the VIP room. But, we were right on the way to the toilet. They had to go by us, to get to the can. First it was Dell. I thought it would be smart to practice for Gary so, after Dell walked by I followed him into the honey bucket. He was just washing his hands so I stood next to him and did the same. He was huge! Like 6'10 or something. I'm 6' and I think I came up to his tits. "Dell, how's it going?" I choked out. "Very well, and you?" "Great game" I said with a wide smile. "Sure was" he said. Then he explained why he was there but I wasn't listening. Should I ask him if The Glove would be urinating this evening? Should I ask him to sign my ticket stub? Fuck no! I'm sure he would have but I was waiting for someone much greater than Dell Harris. "See ya later" he said as he left. "See ya later Dell" I said. We were on a first name basis.

I went back to my seat and waited. Did they have a bathroom back there in the VIP room I thought? I wasn't hungry. My Steak Sinatra was getting cold. I drank another martini. Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw him. I felt the wind from his body blow my hair. Good god it was him. He was on his way to the men's room. I started to sweat. "Where's a pen"? I asked Liz. She found one in her purse. My brain didn't tell my legs to stand but they did. And they walked me into the men's room.

Now, Gary Payton doesn't walk into a men's room by himself. Of course not. He had two body guards with him. One was angry looking and mean. The other was fat, angry looking and mean. The room was only a four holer. Two uninals and two stalls. I walked directly into a stall. Gary was on his cell phone against the wall. One body guard was at the door and the other was taking a leak. I stood in the stall with my feet aimed at the can. I didn't want them to think I was up to something. I was hoping they weren't listening for my peeing sound because there was none. If I had 15 gallons of piss in me I wouldn't have been able to go. I was too nervous. I had to think fast. First of all, what is the allotted time for a pee? Next, how long would Gary stay in the men's room without having to pee, and finally, how long would the second body guard take to finish up. There was a lot on my mind.

I flushed the empty toilet and went up to Gary with my ticket and pen in hand. He was talking on his cell phone still. The conversation was dramatic. He was mad at the person on the other end. I tried not to listen, I didn't want to easedrop on my favorite players personal life. I just stood there and smiled like a fool. Gary was looking the other way. He didn't see me. I looked over to the body guard at the door. He looked back at me and shook his head 'no'. He made a pouty face like he wanted to tell me to forget it and move on. Gary was in no mood for autographs. I held my ground. I thought if he just saw my ticket stub he would sign it. Then I looked at the other body guard. He had a look on his face like he was walking on coals. All tense and scared. I held out. I must have stood there for 2 minutes, seemed like 3 days. The whole time the two body guards were giving me the skunk eye.

Why was Gary mad at this asshole on the phone? He had just beat the Bulls! Almost singlehandedly! This guy on the phone must have been a major asshole. I hated that bastard. He was going to cost me a moment in history. Who did he think he was? Giveing the king of basketball shit. Must have been a reporter. All reporters suck. Then, all of a sudden, Gary turned around and saw me standing there. I held up the stub and pen like a 4 year old child. My eyes were as big as donuts. He held the phone between his chin and shoulder, took the pen and stub and wrote, ' Gary Payton #20' on the back. Gave it back to me and smiled. Gary Payton smiled at me big as life. What a guy. He can even smile.

I walked out of the men's room like I was the Queen of Sheeba. The bodyguard even held the door open for me. I collapsed in my chair next to Liz and wiped the sweat from my brow. Wow! What a night!

Of course we ate slowly so we could see all the guys leave. That night I was able to see, in person, the greatest 'team' ever in the history of the NBA. From Coach Carl to Eric Snow. They were all there. To this day no team has ever come close to the 1995 - 1996 Sonics! What a year.

Thank you for a great year.

Vincent Askew

Frank Brickowski

Sherell Ford

Hersey Hawkins

Ervin Johnson

Shawn Kemp

Nate Mcmillan

Gary Payton

Sam Perkins

Steve Sheffler

Detlef Schrempf

Eric Snow

David Wingate