This'll be great

Four More Years!

Four More Years

Russian Ladies

Olga


So I got this Russian bride now. Olga. Two weeks ago I looked her up on Russianladies.com, she called and said she'd rub my feet in the nude so I called her back. She said she was a dreamy 25 year old virgin, and that I was in her dreams every night. In the nude. Said I was perfect for her. Said she loved to be in the nude, so... She came over with this fat dude. He liked my watch. Pinned me against the floor. I married Olga and she stole my car. The fat guys all pissed off. Some fat guy.

9/11

Oh Super Woman

Nasa's new hot babe


Laurie Anderson


Have you taken the chance to listen to Laurie Anderson's song 'Oh Superman' lately. Like post 9/11? Truth is stranger than fiction.

And if you haven't heard, Laurie has been chosen by NASA to be the first 'Artist in Residence'. This is huge. Can't wait to see what she comes up with.

A little bit about me

Growing up in the Chinese Army

I was born in 1947 Russia. In a slave labor camp south of Hornspree. My Mother was a stewardess with the Red Bird Airlines and my Father was a Chinese Army Spy. They called me 'Lil Jimps'. Translated it meant, stupid orphan in Cantonese. That was my spy baby name. Later I would change it to Mick McMickey.

Those first few years were spent booking dog races and shining shoes. When your a baby it's easy to shine shoes. Your already at shoe level. As I reached the single digits I spent more time doing the things I loved. Unloading flour, and flying single engine taildraggers as a Red Baron for the Chinese Army.

In 1955 I worked the airfield in Banking as a plane director. It was a 24 hour a day job and I was good at it. I worked there for 28 years.

Lil Jimps directing planes at 13


After a long sleep, I moved on to wood chipping in 1979. First I worked with green woods and then brown. After 12 years of brown apprentership I did the unthinkable, I left my wood for a woman. Her name was Hiplearna, she was a Chinese milk nurse.

I first met Hiplearna at a Snow Shovel sales meeting in Vermont. She was a wide woman. Her hips were as wide as a Snow Shovel is long. Steely eyes, blonde hair, and a mole on her forehead. I was in love.

We married in 1962 in Blocksteed Holland. Bought a house just outside the city and had sextuplets, Glendora, Blainshaw, Hopsling, Goanthelp, Bruce and Boydshin. We loved them one and all. But mostly Boydshin.

After the kids left home at 12, we traveled the seven seas. She as a fish sailor and me as the ships cook. I fed her well. She ate like a whale until her untimely death in 1933. I found myself alone and unprepared for what lie ahead. Dust Mitt Sales.

Today I still sell Dust Mitts. I even sold one to the President of the United States of America in the year 2002. He paid top dollar. I took no prisoners.

Who knows what lies ahead? But one thing I do know. If the Chinese Army ever needs someone to spy on a Dust Mitt factory. They have their man. Mick McMickey, Chinese Baby Spy.

Sing high fat choy! Sing high!

That's not fair!

Fuck Fair

I love when people teach their kids about fairness. Nothings fair. I can't think of one god damn thing in my whole life that was fair. Sure, if you work hard for something, and you get something for it, that's fair. Till the next day when you get run over by a 97 year old cataracts patient .

Fair, fuck fair. If I ever have a kid (and that will be the day when my selfishness takes over and has me adding to this human nightmare) I'm going to teach it the word unfair. That's what this world is you know. Unfair.

Lets say little Johnnie does all his homework and cleans his room. I'll smack him across the face with a book. That will teach him. Or if he makes his bed puts his toys away, I'll gas his cat. There's fair for ya. Little bastard.

Yea, teach your kids about being fair. Good idea. Then they'll grow up to be a bunch of fair fightin monsters like the ones running this hell hole planet. Fuckin kids.