The Adventures of Kong Loot - Private Eye

Kong Loot, in - Swift Kick My Eye or Flipper Phone Out Order

\To be read like Sergeant Friday with Chinese accent.

Phoenix Arizona China, 1914

08:00, Water is cold. I see shark in distance. No matter, I know Swift Kick. Kill shark 'like that'! I swim slowly but swiftly to waters edge. I grab my spy periscope. Size of match stick. Very sophisticated. Too small to use. I lift my head out of water. There it is. In the dawns early lye I see the stucture, reaching out to me as if I were there. The Adobe Dairy Hotel. Of course surrounded by hit men. Dill Soal Gunt, Jim Peep, Con Soou. I know them all.

Dipping back into water I await my orders. Will I be told to storm the building? Or will I get to go home. Only time will tell. Suddenly, my flipper spy phone rings. I try to answer but flipper wont come off foot. I look back and see shark swimming towards me. He's in full tooth mode. With every second shark comes closer. Swift Kick wont work with flipper spy phone on. The ringing is attracting him. He draws nearer. I try speaker flipper spy phone, "Hello, sit low dim sum heel sou soup gan sip lip". Password too long, shark only inches away. Flip phone says, "Sorry, wrong number". Shark rips off flipper phone and foot. "Yeow"! My foot is gone but shark still here. Then, it dawns on me. Without flipper phone, swift kick no problem. With bloody stump I kick wild beast back into ocean. "HI". Just like that, shark dead. Swift Kick. No problem.

09:02, Gunfire. With all the commotion hit man sees me. I start digging hole in sand but too late. Hit man hit me on back of neck. Ducks, flying in circles around my crib. My bottle is empty and the ducks are blowing buggles in my face. I want new bottle. Ducks going faster.

09:03, I wake up in penthouse suite. Chum Hin Love's assistant, Lame Long Lee, is standing over me. "Kong Loot"? How did he know my name? "Is this what your looking for"? He held out the map. Thinking quickly I replied,"No"! This is not what I'm looking for". No Siree Bob". They bummed out and left, I caught cab back to Lamont's for some ice cream and cake.

Confucius say, "Pool man once, shame on Jee, pool man nice, Lame Long Lee!

That's it! Lame Long Lee! It's not over. I must go back. No time to lose. Not over till fat lady singing.

Next Week...........