Just my luck

I've got to tell you, I think I've just about had enough. Yesterday I lost my job digging ditches. Three days before that my cat committed suicide. Now, my 'new' car has cancer. I'm going to drive it to Mexico to see a experimental car doctor. I hope she can make it. I live in Hawaii.

I should have seen this coming. My astrologer girlfriend Pammy told me that my stars all burned out. My water sign is getting yellow and the moon is in my whore house. She told me to change a few things in my life but I didn't listen. I ignored her and now look at me. She told me to start acting like an army man and not to eat cold cuts. I did the opposite. I acted like an army man alright, but I ate cold cuts like they were going out of style. I even heated them up.

Who am I kidding? I didn't act like an army man. I thought acting like a army man was a stupid idea. It was beneath me. Now look at me.

Looks like I have to drink rocks and bowl a 250 to get out of this mess. I've never bowled more than a 189. But things are starting to look up. My ceiling needs work. It's cracked. Too much looking up.

Well I'm off to Mexico. Wish me luck.

-Louis